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love
sadisticlullaby
ok, so its 4 am right? and this woman that lives next door to us has a very strange sleeping pattern. she goes to sleep at like 8 and wakes up at around 3:30 (which just so happens to be about the time i go to sleep.) so i had just fallen asleep and all of a sudden i was rudely awoken by very loud HAMMERING! WHO THE FUCK HAMMERS AT 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!?! well natalie came rushing into the living room wondering what was going on and i yelled "SHE IS FUCKING HAMMERING!!!" so we try to go back to bed but it doesnt work. we were laughing too hard. so we come back to the living room, i pick up our hammer, and i start banging on the wall. if you thought that was our payback, just you wait. shes going to get the hammering of her lifetime tonight. oh man....im just counting the minutes.



if anyone out there would like to add any suggestions on how to bug a neighbor, it would be greatly appreciated.

LOVE, Alicia "the hammer" Pless

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Sprinkle pee all over her doorknob
Slip fake eviction notices under her door
Flirt with her CONSTANTLY
Scream, "NATALIE, YOUR PUSSY IS SO WET! IT'S DRIPPING ALL OVER MY FACE!" every single night
Fall asleep on her door mat
Leave love notes under her door
Ask her on a date
Ring her doorbell and stand there, masturbating, with your eyes rolling while you drool
Give her a pet that smells really bad
Give her soup, wait until she eats it, and then mention how glad you are to work at a morgue
Look at her quickly and then whisper to Natalie something about HERPES really loudly
Invite her to dinner but tie her to a chair and drag it outside
Invite her to a movie and make sure it's scary, because then you can keep grabbing her tits as roughly as possible
Shit in front of her door
Get her number and call her "just to see how she's doing"


That's all I have for now.

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